|My Love Affair With Human Design
Physicist, social worker, hippie, cab driver, Harvard teaching assistant, welfare mother, VW mechanic, income tax Enrolled Agent—who am I? Why can’t I just find one thing and stick to it?
Primal therapies, intimate communities, rebirthing, channeling, metaphysics—where are the answers? Where can I contribute my growing wisdom?
58 years of exploration and experimentation, looking for my authenticity, trying everything new, and it took just one Human Design reading to blow the top off, to put it all together, to make sense of all of this diversity, to explain the matrix through which I’d been working—unknowingly. As an individual mutative being always fascinated by what’s “cutting edge,” with seven open centers and a 6/2 profile, I’ve needed to explore just about everything in life. I recognized the Human Design System instantly as a personal/interpersonal truth higher than any other I had known, something trustworthy, something that could have major impact on others —and something so new that I wouldn’t be bored with it for a good long while! It was “love at first sight.”
That was two and a half years ago, and since that time I have gotten more and more awed by this work. As I analyze the designs of so many others, I see how profoundly and how simply this knowledge can often evaporate their problems, validate their processes, and enhance their well-being.
It’s been difficult in Berkeley, where I live, to get attention as a Human Design analyst what with all the myriad alternative everythings floating around here. Because I’m a generator and not a manifestor, with no natural promotional ability, I’ve had to just keep plugging away at it. Since becoming licensed I’ve tried just about everything I could think of—mailings and postcards to former tax clients, friends, family; many free readings; ads in local alternative “learning” publications (including a joint one with another analyst in the area), two introductory evenings at my house; talking constantly about Human Design wherever I went; putting my mutative energy out at parties, on trips, etc.; creating a website and a brochure —even my license plate says HMN DSGN.
My aim was to study the material, listen to as many “expert” readings that came my way as possible, and do as many of my own readings as I could muster up, knowing that through repetition, repetition, repetition I would master the information, the format, the logistics, and my fears—especially of not being able to speak well, on tape, no less. I hoped that my readings would just continue to get better and better until I reached a level of competence where referrals would start to come in. But in the meantime, I needed to promote myself in any way I could.
This approach has begun to work. In the last several months my readings have become easier, more impactful, and really joyful to do. Through synergy and favorable planetary transits which have given me access to voice and intuition, I’ve finally begun to relax and let the chart take over. It’s easier to establish a flow between me and the client, and to speak from my heart as well as from my head.
I love to analyze somebody’s design—to look for clues layer by layer, to delve into what it would be like to have such a design, to recognize the conflicts, fears, potential problem areas, to see what could empower such a person, raise their self-esteem, and validate them. I love to explode the myths that restrict people from accepting all of themselves. These are my issues of course, and some of my joy comes from the fact that I receive equally—what empowers them, empowers me; what expands them, expands me, etc. I need to be reminded constantly about self-love, so of course, that is what I teach.
Being one of the “midwives” to the birth of Human Design, helping to bring it forth into a world ruled by narrowness, false beliefs and lack of mutual respect is truly thrilling for me and satisfies my individual mutative nature. I have finally found my true passion in life.
December 2000, Human Design Network Newsletter